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Preview  Beach Spikers
- By Travis Coats
E3 Impressions:
What can I say? On a very basic and primal level, I can't help but like this game. Testosterone has a way of taking over in the place of rational thought when one is presented with the female form, whether it is rendered or not. Sad but true, despite my self-proclaimed attitude towards "mature" content, Mother Nature takes over when she damn well pleases. Naked women = good. End of story.
Damn hormones.
Blatant visual appeal aside, this game does have it where it counts. Breasts... err, gameplay. As a volleyball game it does have a nice physics engine, and an overall pleasant feel... Damn, who am I kidding? I don't care about the friggin' game. I'm male and Sega knows it. Bastards.
In all seriousness, I do find one aspect of this game to be a bit over the top (no pun intended). For some reason when a team loses a match, both the ladies console each other by hugging. Normally this wouldn't be so bad, but it tends to go on for a lot longer than two heterosexual women would allow. Rather odd in a game like this right? Heh.. Funny thing is they also hug for an indeterminable time when they win as well. Cute Sega, real cute.
Anyway, if you have a penis, odds are you will enjoy this game regardless. If you don't, you might actually realize this game is based on volleyball, and enjoy it for that reason alone.
Travis
-5.23.2002
Bump! Set! Spike! Sega’s Beach Spikers is arriving on Nintendo GameCube this summer. Showcasing young, attractive, and um… well-built females, this game is the epitome of selling sex to the masses. Even if this game did nothing else, it will fly off the shelves simply because its main characters are half naked women. Not exactly a shining reflection of the state of our society, but sex sells and everyone knows it.
Surprisingly, Beach Spikers is not the only all female volleyball game coming to market. However it does seem to be the only one that is done tastefully. Not content to let the graphics take center stage, Sega has added a variety of gameplay features that will distinguish this title from the pack. For example…
Create a Character: As amusing as this could be to comment on at length, I’ll leave it to the imagination as to what kind of … endowments the player could give the female personalities. Let’s hope Sega has a sense of humor.
Dynamic camera angles: Once again the potential for amusement runs high. Nothing says dynamic view like a camera up the ass. With a fully rendered rear to look at, who the hell gives half a crap about volleyball?
Three gameplay modes: World Tour, Arcade, and VS to name a few.
16 different teams of “beautiful, totally customizable female athletes.” (Sega’s words, not mine. Who comes up with this stuff anyway?)
Look for rendered T & A to hit the kid friendly Cube very soon.
- 5.23.2002 |
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